I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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