I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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