So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
