Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I need to sanitize my soul.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
