I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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