nutella sex= disaster
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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