Can i not drive my cunt home
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
