I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
