How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
