Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
we're making bets on your personal life
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
