My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
