Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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