You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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