So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
