We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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