Ambien. No doubt about it.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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