Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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