i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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