they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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