i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
