Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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