You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
