just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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