I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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