fuck your aforementioned shoe
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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