omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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