I could have mohawked her pubes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
