wakey wakey hands off snakey
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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