in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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