Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
