And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
