mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize