is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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