he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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