Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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