im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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