i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize