so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
