before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
