I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
