I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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