HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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