Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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