omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
