he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
