We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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