Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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