fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
