3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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