apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
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It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...