I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.