i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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