I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn