? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.