How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
