he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize