so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
