I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize