Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
