We won't sleep together?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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