We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize