You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
