i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Barsexuality is the new black.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Boobs speak an international language.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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