My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
