I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
