69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
either way he was missing a nipple.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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